La Tortura
by nikkitagq
Summary: COMPLETE: One of the Knights has a secret. What will the Knights say when they find out? When she looses her memory after falling from her horse, will she ever get it back? TristanOC
1. Introduction

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing…

**Opening note: **This is my second story on this site I'm still writing 'Elements'. This was just a new idea I came up with a few weeks ago and decided to write about it to see how it went with everyone. I don't mind constructive criticism and I accept anonymous reviews.

This story is about a girl named Evan who is from the Rhoxolani Tribe in Sarmatia. She's beautiful, smart and goes undercover as a boy to save her brother. It sounds a bit boring but you'll have a laugh. A lot of Romance in this because I love romantic stories and a lot of honour. It's a TristanOC so enjoy and please REVIEW!

Just a little thing….as I wrote this I imagined Angelina Jolie as Evan. She suits the profile…and I'm a great fan.

**Introduction:**

Would you lie to save someone you love? Even if it meant that you would be put to death if you are found out? And it would mean you would not be able to live your life as you are; you would have to be a different person? A lie.

I had only come up with the idea a few hours before the Romans arrived. My brother, Jirdan, was ill with scarlet fever. He was close to death when the Romans were to arrive. There was no way he would have survived the trip to Hadrian's Wall. My love for him consumed me and I could not stand by and watch the Romans take him away, for he would surely die. I hid him in the forest. It was close to the village so when they went to search for him he would have been found easily. He was older than me by two years but he had lost so much weight due to his illness that I was able to help him walk to the forest. He begged me not to go through with me plan but I turned a deaf ear. As I lay him back on the forest floor he told me he would one day repay me. I put the furs over him to keep him warm and placed a water skin beside him with some fruit. My mind was made up. I could not let him die so early in his life when I was perfectly capable of fighting in his place.

He took my hand in his and I kissed his forehead as a single tear fell down his cheek. Again he told me not to go through with my plan but I promised him no one would know I was a girl and one day I would return to him. But I knew it was a lie. I would never return to this place, because I would be instilling shame on my family as well as myself. No one would want to marry me knowing I had pretended to be a man for most of my life.

I rode to the edge of the forest on my mare and saw the Romans arriving. _'Just on time.'_

I had cut my hair to my shoulders and tied it back so I looked more like a boy. I thought it was going to be a miracle if I could pass for a girl because my features were not manly in any way. I have large dark brown and green eyes and long lashes. My skin is tanned from riding and my lips are pouty and large, those of a female. I wore boys clothes and tried to loose my feminine composure as the Romans stoped. 'I was sent to wait here for you,' I told the Romans. 'The village is ill with scarlet fever and they did not want to have you around to catch it.'

I tired to make my voice sound like my brothers. Deep and slightly raspy. I'm only twelve and my body had only begun to form into that of a woman. The Romans looked at me curiously by did not argue. 'Lets get moving then,' said the blond one.

I followed them, thankful they did not ask questions. I snuck a quick glance toward my village and then looked into the forest where I hid my brother. 'I love you forever,' I said under my breath.

Beside me was an older larger boy with a scar in his left eye. He looked at me closely and I managed to avert my eyes to his. 'What?' I asked him.

'I am Dagonet,' he said extending his hand.

'Evan,' I said as I took it. True it was a boys name but it was my real one. My real name. He seemed to find something interesting about me like the rest of the boys because all of them kept looking at me curiously. I didn't make eyes contact with them. I was too afraid that with one look they would find out my secret.

So here I am. On my way to Hadrian's Wall to become a Knight. If my being a girl is found out I may as well fall on my own sword because they would kill me. I could not even face my mother before I left for the sake of shaming her. As I rode on beside Dagonet I glanced at one of my nails and realised I needed to push back my cuticles. And so to my stupidity, I did. The boy beside me, Lancelot looked at me as if I had lost my mind. Quickly I put my hand down and stared straight ahead trying not to make eyes contact with anyone. _'This is going to be a long life.'_

That night, as everyone sat around the fire, I sat against a tree a short distance away from the boys. I was studying their mannerisms. Trying to make myself one of them was going to be hard and I needed to observe as much as possible. I would never have facial hair. I would always have feminine hands and I would soon grow breasts. What if men bathed together? Did I have to speak as they did? Would I have to flirt with women? No, I would do none of that. I set my mind to it. There was no way anyone would know my secret but I did not have to be like them completely!

'Why did you do it?'

I looked up and saw Dagonet standing over me. 'Do what?' I asked him.

He sat down beside me and sighed. He looked toward the boys by the fire before looking back to me. 'Evan is a boys name yes, and I for some reason believe that it is your actual name but you are not in anyway a boy. Why did you do this?'

I looked away from him and looked down at my clean hands. _'I've come to the end of my life.'_

'My brother had scarlet fever. He wouldn't have made it to the fort. He is two years older than I and it took a lot of work to cover my tracks and take his place…but I would not have been able to live with myself knowing I could have saved his life.'

I said nothing more as I stared down at my hands. 'I won't tell anyone,' he said kindly. 'I'll help you if you'd like. With the training. But you don't need to completely change yourself. Just act like a boy when around people. I'm sure in privacy you'll be able to be a girl.'

I smiled slightly. 'Thankyou. It going to be a long 15 years. I suppose I could always take bits a pieces of my brother and act more like a boy. I'm scared though. I've always been good with a bow and…one of the women in my village said I had the temperament of a stubborn horse.'

'You'll need it,' Dagonet said. 'How old are you by the way?'

'12 summers,' I said. 'You?'

'16 winters,' he answered. 'Sleep. They won't annoy you.' He cocked his head toward the boys by the fire. He walked back to the fire and I locked eyes with Lancelot for a moment. He was onto me. As handsome as he was I knew he would be able to find out my secret quickly. The same as the quiet one. I leaned back against the tree and closed my eyes. I was tired from the ride but I could not let my guard down in front of these men. I sniggered to myself as I imagined walking past the boys taking a tinkle not caring about being in front of me. If these boys were the only family I was to have for 15 years; that would surely happen.

I felt like I had been asleep two minutes before I was woken. I mounted my horse sleepily and immediately wondered about my hair. 'I must really look bad,' I mumbled to myself as I patted my mare's neck. Her name was Fru Fru. It meant frills. I liked the name and it always made my father laugh when I called her. My smile vanished from my face as I remembered my father. Would he be looking for me now? Would he be holding my mother as she cried for me?

0-0-0

I rode through the gates of Hadrian's Wall feeling like muck and probably looking like it too. We had been on the road for 3 weeks before arriving. My time of travel is better left unsaid because it is nothing to feel good about. I unmounted my horse and leaned my forehead against her neck for a moment. 'This was definitely not a good idea,' I mumbled. She neighed and nodded wildly in return.

'What wasn't?' Lancelot asked me.

I screamed in my mind and tired to come up with an excuse. 'Getting off my horse so quickly,' I said. _'What the heck? I'm an idiot. Now I'm even more obvious.' _

'Right,' he said as he followed the Knights into the inn. I gave my horse to the stable boy and thanked him kindly before following the Knights beside Dagonet.

As I was shown to my room a thanked the gods that I had one of my own. In fact, all of the Knights had one of their own. I took off my bag and put it on my bed before falling back on it. I needed a bath, badly. I had only been able to sneak off a few times turning the trip to bathe.

I wandered the halls silently walking past many rooms. As I turned the corner of a hallway I came face to face with a red headed girl. She was a few years older than I. I smiled at her, inwardly thankful that there was another female around. 'Hi,' she said as she looked at me with a calculating expression. 'Are you looking for something?'

'How do I get a bath?' I asked her. 'I really need one.'

She smiled. 'I'll get one for you. I'm Vanora. Are you….one of the new people?'

'Oh yes,' I said. 'So called Knights.'

'Oh,' she said. She laughed slightly and frowned at me. '_You _are going to be one of the Knights? But you're a…'

'Oh my Gods PLEASE don't say it out loud,' I said quickly. 'No one….knows really. It's a long story but I'm trying my best to be…a boy…kind of.'

'I was going to say you were a bit young but you're a girl?' she asked.

I covered by face with my hands as tears came to my eyes. She took my arm and led me a down a flight of stairs into a small room with linens and furs and clothes piled up on the floors. I guessed it was a laundry room. 'You're a girl?' she asked me. 'Why did you do it?'

'You can't tell anyone,' I said I tears came to my eyes. I told her the story of how my brothers illness and by the end she was looking at me with pure sorrow.

'You poor little maid,' she said as she rubbed my back. 'I won't tell I promise. If you need any help. Clothes, hair someone to talk to…I'd be more than happy to help you ok?'

'Thankyou,' I said wiping my face. 'I was so determined not to be found out but I don't seem to be doing so well. I'm Evan by the way.'

Vanora laughed and hugged me quickly. 'How about I get you that bath and I help you find ways to pin your hair?'

0-0-0

**Author Note: **So? What do you think?


	2. Punctuation

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing…..

**Author Note: **Thanks to those who have been reading my story. I'm really excited about this one and I know everyone had to get into it and your reviews are really keeping me excited! Thankyou.

**MistakenLove: **'Laugh'. Oh don't worry, this one is definitely interesting. Love triangles all over the place. I've never done a fiction like this so I'm hoping it turns out really well.  
**KnightMaiden: **Ah…loyal reviewer! Thank so much. Hope you like this chapter just as much.

0-0-0

**Punctuation: **

My first few months started of on a rocky road. When I first met Arthur, who was to be my commander, he looked at me the same way the rest of the boys did. Curiously. I talked with the Knights but avoided their gazes whenever I could. I like them. They were very nice and all of them have a bond already, all except Tristan. He scares me slightly. He is quiet and the best fighter by far. He is 15, only three years older than I but every time he looks at me he questions me. When I speak to him, those brief few words we share, I seem to get tongue tied. I'm sure they laugh about me behind my back but I couldn't help it. I'm the same age as Galahad but he seems oblivious to the fact that I'm a girl. He and Gawain are close. Vanora and Dagonet are a great help to me. Vanora helps me with clothes and my hair and Dagonet trains me at night so I can be better prepared during the daily training sessions.

The winter went into the blooming season and I'm growing and changing everyday. Soon it was summer, not much different to the winter, and I turned 13. I celebrated on my own not wanting anyone to know much about me. I kept it that way for a long time. I didn't speak much, even less than Tristan, and always minded my own business. I'm a good fighter. The best alongside Tristan with a bow and my skills with my sword are improving everyday. Lancelot is still trying to find out my secret. He speaks to me of home and asks about my family and at one point I thought I was going to faint but Vanora and Dagonet worked with me in speech. They asked me questions and I would find answers to each.

As I turned 14 the only problem I had was looking like a man. Every time I let my hair loose and wore a simple skirt and top Vanora and Dagonet were amazed at how I was changing. At one point I noticed Dagonet staring at me which caused me to blush wildly as Vanora stitched my new tunic. She and I became great friends quickly. We have so much in common. She and Bors quickly became lovers and she was pregnant with her first child. I looked down at my chest and sighed. I just kept growing and growing. Vanora laughed and said 'We'll cover you up. Don't worry.'

In the end I had to do something about my ever expanding chest. I wore a tight breast cover and was thankful that Britain was a cold place because I could wear heavy tunics and jackets when on missions. Just before my 15 birthday we were on a mission. We were checking villages to make sure no more Woad raids had been happening because Romans were living in most of the villages. I was standing beside Bors when a bunch of Romans walked past and began staring at me. I was not even concentrating on them and to my bad fortune Tristan heard them say if I had long hair I would look like a girl; and a pretty one at that, one of them decided to add.

That is when he began watching me more closely. That night, as I thought everyone was sleeping I left the camp and walked to a nearby stream. I stood beside it watching the water wash over the rocks. I untied my hair and sat down beside it before putting my face in my hands. I couldn't stand this life, and I had another 12 years of it to fulfil. I looped one of my curls around my finger before wiping it away in frustration.

I sat there in silence for a long time before I heard something in the trees. I could barely hear movement but I knew something was there. My feminine instincts kicked in and I turned toward the sound. I rose from the ground and walked into the forest. I thought it was a rabbit or some other animal as I walked in. After I passed a stag and many trees I began to think it was my imagination playing tricks on me. I sighed and moved a lock of hair from my eyes as a hand went over my mouth and another around my waist. I squealed but with the hand covering my mouth nothing could be heard. We hit a tree and the person holding me hostage stoped moving. Terror clenched me as I tried to struggle but my captor was too strong. 'Be quiet,' he hissed. 'Its Tristan.'

I stoped moving and frowned as my heart pounded in my chest. 'Are you going to stay quiet?' he asked close to me ear.

I nodded. Slowly he removed his hand and I breathed in deeply. 'Are you trying to scare me to death?' I asked him. He turned me around and looked at me. His suspicions had been confirmed.

'Why did you do it?' he asked me. I stayed quiet and did not let my eyes go to his face. 'I've had my suspicions ever since we met. Dagonet has been helping you as well as Vanora. Why don't you tell?'

'Because girls aren't allowed to become Knights,' I said looking down at the floor.

'Why did you do it?' he asked me again.

I sighed and looked to the sky for a moment. 'My brother was ill with scarlet fever. He wouldn't have made it to the fort in his condition. So I hid him as he begged me not to do it and I left with the Romans as a boy. And in my opinion I was doing a good job until you found me out.'

Tristan snorted. 'No you weren't. We all have had our thoughts. The only reason Arthur hasn't said anything is because Dagonet keeps making up excuses. You don't look like a boy. And covering your body with heavy tunics and tying your hair back has not been helping your case.'

I huffed angrily, not really knowing why his words hurt me so much. 'At least I tried.' I crossed my arms across my chest and glared at him.

'You even have the temperament of a horse. Common in all females,' he said calmly. 'They won't kill you if they know.'

'I'm not telling them,' she said. 'It'll be too weird.'

'Well….it is up to you. But one day they'll find out and it will be even stranger,' he said.

'Why?' I asked him.

He walked into the clearing. 'Because you'll be even more attractive.'

'Ha?' I asked nasally as I followed him. 'That is the dumbest thing you've ever said.'

'And of all the stupid schemes that have been played in the world, this one is by far the worst,' he said calmly.

'You're not funny,' I said as he stoped walking. 'I'm not trying to be honourable or anything but I did not exactly plan this life either.'

He looked at me with no expression on his face. I caught his eyes wondering and waved my hand in front of his face. 'You talk too much,' he said.

'Have you finished insulting me?' I asked with a glare. 'I'm not feeling very good about myself right now and your comments do not help with lifting my spirits.'

'I didn't come to lift your spirits,' he said plainly. 'I came to find out your secret. And I have fulfilled my mission.'

'I'm happy for you,' I said sarcastically. 'Now go away.'

'You're coming to,' he said taking my arm.

'What! No, are you nuts?' I said as I tried to pull away from him. He sighed frustrated and picked me up and threw me over his shoulder; walking and carrying me like a dead stag.

We stoped a few feet away from the camp and he put me on the ground as I hastily tied my hair back. 'They want to get to know you,' he said in a voice barely audible to the untrained ear. 'Tell them and you'll see your life will be better.'

'You're not exactly the most open person in the world,' I snapped.

'At least I'm not lying about my identity,' he said as he walked back to the camp.

0-0-0

The next day my mind was completely occupied with Tristan's words. Should I tell them? I was afraid of their reaction after wards. Although Tristan said they wanted to get to know me, I couldn't bring myself to accept that they would treat me as an equal. As I rode on beside Lancelot an arrow shot past me. I managed to dodge it at the last moment but it caused me to fall off my horse as another arrow shot out.

I cringed as I hit the ground and drew my sword as Picts ran out of the woods. I stabbed a man with my dagger and duelled with another Woad as two more came toward me. Lancelot drew his sword through the Woad I was duelling with and before I could thank him I felt a sharp pain in my jaw. I fell to the ground and before I could rise everything around me went black.

0-0-0

As I opened my eyes my mind was spinning. I clutched my head as I tried to stand but I immediately stumbled and sat back down. Another pair of hands touched my face. 'Try not to move,' said a woman. 'It will pass shortly.'

'Where am I?' I asked looking around. I leaned back against the log and looked at the woman before me. She was a Woad. Long dark brown hair and dark brown eyes met her Woadish clothes and blue tattoos.

'Were being held captive by Picts. Two days ride from Hadrian's Wall,' she said. 'I am Guinevere.'

I smiled at her and extended my hand. 'Evan.'

'Arthur's woman Knight,' Guinevere said smiling.

'How did you know?' I asked her calmly.

'We have met before,' she said as she sat down next to me. 'You are too beautiful to look like a man. That is why the Picts kidnapped you.'

'Oh,' I said as my head stopped spinning. 'Not much of a reason but who am I to judge.'

She laughed lightly. 'I like you,' she said. 'You have fire in you.'

I laughed sceptically. 'I have to, to keep up my charade.' I realised my hair was loose and my tunic and jacket were missing. I was in only breeches and an under top which had no sleeves. I flicked a beetle off my boot as two men came out of the trees looking at Guinevere and I.

0-0-0

'Shit,' Dagonet hissed.

'What?' Arthur asked as he cleaned his sword.

'Evan,' he said taking hold of her horse. 'Sh…he's missing.'

'What?' Gawain asked as he looked around.

Lancelot was sitting on the ground with his head in his hands. He received a sharp blow to the head when he was trying to fight the Picts that were kidnapping Evan. 'They went that way.' He pointed to the forest. Tristan went over and saw the foot prints and nodded. 'We can track them easily.'

'On foot,' Arthur said putting his sword in its sheath. 'Why would they take him for?'

Tristan had already disappeared into the trees which left Dagonet shifting silently. 'Who knows,' he said as he quickly followed Tristan into the woods.

They followed Tristan through the trees going deeper and deeper into the forest until they heard voices. Tristan motioned for everyone to stay silent and he crouched down trying to see into the clearing. He saw two women, one was Evan in all her womanly good graces, and the other was a Woad. They were around the same age and even looked alike, slightly. 'What the-' Lancelot said but was cut off when Dagonet put a hand in front of his mouth. 'But that's-'

'I know,' Dagonet hissed. 'Shut up.'

Lancelot watched the scene before him along with the Knights and for the first time saw the real Evan.

One of the men tried to take her arm but she slapped his hand. 'I don't think so,' she said. 'I'm not that type.'

The woman beside her smiled slightly. 'What do you want from us exactly?' she asked them.

6 more Pict men and 2 women walked into the clearing and stood around them. 'It's a fiesta,' Evan said. 'This isn't Beltane season is it?'

The Knights smirked.

'Because orgies have never really been my strong point and it's quite…disgusting if you ask me but hey….I've never really experimented so I wouldn't really know,' she finished.

Lancelot put a hand in front of his mouth to stop from laughing.

The Picts shared quick words in their language and the woman beside Evan whispered something to her. A man walked up to Evan and picked her up off the ground. He whispered something in her ear, which from the Knights point of view put her in a deadly mood. 'I don't think so,' she said before hitting him square in the jaw.

The Woad shot up from the ground and immediately engaged in a fist fight with another Pict. The Knights took this as their que and ran out to the unsuspecting Britains.

0-0-0

I was fighting one of the women when the Knights came running out of the woods. I groaned and hit the woman. She fell to the ground and I waited for someone else to attack me but no one did. The Knights had each killed our captors and I was now standing in the middle of a bunch of men waiting for an explanation. It was the end of my life; I could feel it. Of all the stupid times to get caught it had to be while I was with the Knights.

I cleared my throat. 'Surprise?'

* * *


	3. La Tortura

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing….

**Author Note: **

**Beautiful Enigma: **I'm a sucker for a gorgeous guy too. Thanks…I've written about 5 more chapters for this so I'm pretty ready for more. I also have another idea for another story so I'm on a creative spur at the moment.  
**MistakenLove: **Thanks. I wanted to add humour in this story because I'm not really a funny person but knowing everyone found that bit funny is cool. I'm putting a lot of heart felt drama in this and I'm pretty sure you're going to love the next chapter I post. In this chapter 'La Tortura' I think everyone is going to feel a bit sorry for Dagonet, because this is a TristanOC.  
**KnightMaiden: **Thanks. Here it is….

Wow. I went on my stats this morning and I'd just like to say thankyou to all the people who've put my story on their favourites and alerts. I'm truly happy about that. Lets get on with the show….

0-0-0

**La Tortura**

'So, Dag and Vanora have been helping you through all of this?' Arthur asked me.

I saw sitting by the fire in our camp as Dagonet tended the wound on my arm. The Knights sat around me, now fully aware of my gender, listening to my story. They took it just as Tristan said they would; even Arthur. It was like they were looking at me for the first time. I sat with my hair loose and my posture as that of a female, I even wore a light tunic which showed off my curves; bad move. 'It was my stupidity that they found out in the first place but yes,' I said as Dag wrapped a bandage around my arm.

'Cool,' Gawain said with a grin. 'Of course we knew all along.'

'I said it first,' Lancelot quipped quickly.

'Ah ha,' I said looking at my arm. 'Sure. You all knew but you just didn't voice you opinions. How noble.'

0-0-0

Tristan sat back patting his hawk as he watched the scene. His eyes racked over Evans body and noticed how undoubtedly feminine she was. He realised how hard it was for her to keep a male compose around people. As Arthur told her he found nothing wrong with her being a woman Dagonet sat down beside him with a sigh. Arthur told her Rome would not know anything, just to be on the safe side. Bors laughed and exclaimed that he now understood why she would not drink ale. Evan cringed and said it was an awful drink and she would be kind and leave it all to Bors.

The Woad that Evan had been captured with disappeared into the trees quickly after the battle after giving a quick nod in goodbye to Evan.

0-0-0

I lay back in my tent completely exhausted. My mind was reeling with the days events and I could not sleep until I understood all of it. I was happy the Knights accepted me but for some reason I was sad because Tristan did not say anything to me. I shrugged and rolled onto my side falling asleep instantly.

Another year past and I turned 16 without complaint. When I arrived at the wall as a woman it a came to everyone's mild surprise and Vanora's great relief. The cobbler, Henry, told me he already knew but he didn't want to say anything because he shared the same fear as I. All I could do was thank him kindly.

Vanora dragged me off to her room and made me some skirts and feminine tunics with two of the barmaids; Elanore and Nani. They were a giggling bunch around me but I was happy about it all the same. Nani had a great time styling my hair as Elanore made beaded jewellery for me. I tired on a yellow skirt with matching top which Vanora was putting together for me. There was a huge difference in me now. For the first time, I looked like a woman.

I thanked all of them and they said it was more than a pleasure to help me.

That night as I lay in my bed my mind drifted to Sarmatia. Would Jirdan have a family by now? Would he still be thinking of me?

I rolled out of bed a walked to my dresser and pulled out some parchment and ink. I would send a message to him telling him I was alright and happy where I was. I missed him a lot as I did my mother and father. The night was in full force outside. Drinking and dancing was happening and lovers were relishing in their love. Love. Would I ever have that? I certainly didn't know what it was. I didn't think of men in that way because I was too busy trying to be one of them. Would any of the Knights love me?

I shook my head and pushed the thoughts from my mind. This was not the time to think about that.

When I finished writing my letter I climbed out of my window and climbed onto the roof of the inn. I could see everything from up here. It was an amazing view and for the first moment since coming here; I felt free. I crossed my legs underneath me and sat listening to the music. It suddenly occurred to me at how lonely I was. True I had friends but no one to love me. There is that love again. I wanted someone to kiss me and just say stupidly romantic things to make me happy. I don't think I ever will know what love is. The thought makes me sad.

'Is falling on your sword to plain a death for you?' said a voice behind me. 'You want to go with a bang and jump from the roof top?'

Dagonet sat down next to me and smiled. 'No,' I said rolling me eyes. 'I don't have any intention of killing myself.'

'I'm glad to hear it,' he said looking at the people on the ground. 'So what are you doing up here?'

'Thinking,' I said simply as the wind blew past us. 'What are you doing up here?'

'Looking for you,' he said.

'Oh?' I was curious to know why and he smiled at me.

'Aren't you happy that everyone knows now?'

'Of course I am!' I said. 'I'm just…taking things slowly.'

'It has been almost a year since everyone found out,' he said matter-of-factly.

'I know.' I looked down at my hands and sighed. 'Now that I think back….I wish I had told everyone sooner. But I couldn't have known everyone would have been fine with it.'

'It is true you could not,' he said nodding. 'Are you happy though?'

I sighed and watched the dancing going on in the village before looking at him. 'Yes,' I said. 'I'm happy.'

0-0-0

'What is it?' I asked.

Tristan motioned for me to stop riding. We were just ahead of the Knights as we rode toward Londinion to meet with the Roman leaders there. We were halfway through our journey. Fru Fru stoped walking as I put my hand on her neck. Tristan looked around us quietly and whistled for his hawk. It came flying down and landed on his outstretched arm. 'What did you see?' he cooed. The hawk nipped his finger and flew off ahead. 'There is something out there,' he said turning to me. 'Its following us.'

'For how long?' I tired to see what he was seeing but it was no use. Everything ahead of us was clear and green. We would be journeying back to the wall in the winter because it was now the end of summer and we were expected to stay for a number of weeks until the Romans were pleased with the progress of Roman cavalries arriving in Britain.

'A while,' he said turning his horse back to the Knights.

I sighed loudly and followed him. It was close to sunset now and Arthur thought it best to make camp in a close area where we and see incoming attackers. Tristan suggested we ride a few more clicks until we were on the next hill. He rode ahead again. 'Want to talk about it?' I asked Arthur casually.

'I'll never understand your _women's _instincts,' he said smiling.

'They are yet to let me down,' I said. 'So tell me what clouds your usually clear mind.'

He frowned as he watched ahead of us. 'There are rumours that Rome is thinking of leaving Britain.'

'Isn't that a good thing?' I asked him.

'Yes…but I do not know for sure. Rome is a great place Evan. It has order and laws. If those rumours are true why are they bringing in more Romans?'

'Maybe the rumours are false,' I said with a shrug. 'You can ask when we get to Londinion.'

0-0-0

'What is it Dag?' Bors asked as he took a drink from his water skin.

Dagonet snapped his eyes away from Evan and looked at his best friend. 'What is what?'

'You ain't taken your eyes off her since we left,' he said. 'Something you want to tell old Borsey?'

Dagonet sighed and moved his horse closer to Bors' horse. 'Ever since she was twelve…since I found out she was a girl…I can't help but…its never going to happen so I should just forget it.'

'You're in love with the vixen aren't you?' Bors asked him. Dagonet nodded silently. 'Dag…I won't deny it…the woman is beautiful. It would make your non existent hair curl if you knew how some of the men back at the wall talk about her…and she's a great gal. Completely different to what she was when she was pretending to be a man but are you sure you _love _her? Is it love or lust? If you just want her to warm your bed you'd better quit while you're still intact because she ain't a bed warmer. She's wife material.'

'It's everything Bors,' he said. 'I can't explain it.'

'You just did,' Bors said. 'Just go slow Dag…but I'll tell you one thing. You ain't the only one of this bunch who's in love with 'er.'

'What do you mean?' Dagonet asked. His heart thumped in his chest as he wondered which one of the other Knights was in love with Evan.

'I see these things Dag,' Bors said calmly. 'You're in for a battle.'

'Who else?' Dagonet asked.

Bors shook his head and closed his mouth tightly.

'Who else?' Dagonet asked firmly.

'Arthur and Tristan.'

'What?' Dagonet asked. 'I thought maybe Lancelot or Gawain.'

'Na,' Bors chuckled. 'They love her like a sister. Sure they thought of bedding her at first…but they know she ain't like that.'

0-0-0

When we reached the top of the hill I unmounted Fru Fru and helped Bors bring wood for the fire. Tristan and Galahad went hunting for food as I pulled on my jacket. Dagonet had been quiet all day today. He had hardly spoken a word to me and looked deep in thought. As did Arthur and Tristan.

'What's with the pensive look?' Lancelot asked me.

'I'm not the pensive one,' I said with a laugh.

'True,' he said with a nod. 'Arthur is more quiet than usual. So is Dag.'

'Why?' I asked sitting down next to him. I rubbed my shins as the chill set into my legs. Lancelot shrugged. 'Who knows.'

'Something very strange is going on,' I said looking around.

'I'm officially frozen,' Gawain grumbled as he sat down on my other side. 'I can't feel any of my extremities and I mean any.'

'That wonderful to know,' I said smiling. 'Don't expect the same naughty words from me.'

'Well now I'm feeling the chill from all sides,' he said as he warmed his hands. I rolled me eyes and put my knees up to my chest as Tristan and Galahad came back to the camp with Arthur and Bors.

They looked at the three of us. 'Well if it isn't the lazy bunch of us,' Bors laughed.

'It freezing,' said Lancelot with a scowl.

Tristan put his kill, four rabbits, by the fire where Gawain and Dagonet started to skin them.

I went to sleep early that night. I wrapped a fur around myself in my tent and curled up into a little ball. My mind wandered to Arthur. He had been silent the whole night. He only spoke when someone spoke to him but the rest of the time he watched us; watched me more like it.

The next morning I woke early and had everything packed by the time Dagonet had breakfast ready. 'You'd think with me being the only female that I would cook around here,' I said smiling at him. He smiled at me and handed my oats and fruit which I inwardly cringed at. I never liked porridge or oats but I took it from him gratefully.

'I don't know how to cook though,' I said as I sat down. 'I've never been one for domestics.'

Tristan walked to us and sat down beside me before taking a bowl from Dagonet. I put my half empty bowl down on the ground and saw Dagonet and Tristan exchange a look. _'What is that about?' _I pretended not to see anything but the tension around us was building and seemed to reach a scorching height when Arthur came out of the tent. Gawain walked to us and sat down on my other side while everyone exchanged silent greetings. 'What's going on?' Gawain asked me out of the corner of his mouth.

'I have no idea,' I whispered.

Gawain saw Arthur and Tristan swap a glance as Dagonet looked at Evan from the cornet of his eye.

0-0-0

'There is something going on with Arthur, Tristan, Dag and Evan,' Gawain said to Lancelot. The flirtatious Knight chuckled.

'Of course there is,' he said. 'She's completely oblivious to it but there is something not right.'

'You…you don't think all of them…are in love with her do you?' Gawain asked as he watched Evan speaking to Arthur.

'I don't think,' Lancelot said. 'I know.'

'And the worst part is,' Galahad said from beside them. 'They all know it.'

0-0-0

As I rode Fru Fru beside Bors an old song from Sarmatia came to mind. It was a song that would be used at times of celebrations and when teenagers were being cheeky. It was called 'La Tortura'. It meant The Torture. It was a song about love and being in pain because the person you love isn't with you. There was a dance to this song, but it was never danced in front of people unless it was in a group. I had been taught the dance by my mother who was a dancer as well as my grandmother who was also a dancer but I had never danced it in public. The song was beautiful and as I hummed and mumbled it I thought of home again.

The next few days passed normally. Our travels were not halted because of the cold and luckily for us, we arrived in Londinion just as the rains began to settle in. We were all welcomed by the Romans after they got over their shock about seeing me. You'd think a woman was poison at the way they go on about seeing women.

The first thing I did when I arrived in my room was call for a bath. A plump dark haired woman came up followed by two Roman men ordering them about in Latin. They were soldiers who did not look at all happy about being ordered about. I thanked them kindly and spent a long time in the barrel. I spread lavender and vanilla oils over my skin and dried my hair with a dry cloth before pulling on leggings and a long skirt with my boots and a long sleeved tunic.

'Evan!' Lancelot called as I walked around the fort.

'Hmm?'

'Arthur wants to see us all in the meeting rooms in half past the noon hour,' he said.

'Where are them meeting rooms?' I asked him as a bunch of Romans walked by. 'And it's almost that time.'

'I know,' he said as he took hold of my elbow leading the way. We ran up the steps to a grand building down a long dirt road where Dagonet and Bors were waiting with Tristan, Arthur and Gawain. 'Where is-'

Galahad came panting up behind us. 'Half past the noon hour?' he asked Arthur. 'Could you have made the time more indecent?'

Arthur opened the doors and we all followed him into the building. It was made of wood mostly and decorated in Roman style, which I did not mind very much. Lancelot put his nose up at it.

'Ah Arthur and his Knights,' said a tall man in a thick accent. He saw me and for a moment looked at if I had insulted him but then turned back to Arthur as if nothing had happened. I blinked before silently rolling my eyes.

0-0-0

I walked into the meeting room beside Dagonet and stood aside as the many men in the room looked at us. A short plump man walked over with his arms out welcoming us. Lancelot made a gagging motion behind Dag and I giggled lightly but stoped when the man shook Arthur's hand. I looked at men and I lifted an eyebrow at him in silent warning not to come near me. He stepped back and looked at us all.

'Well,' he said as his eyes racked over each of us. 'Shall we get down to business?'

I spent the next few hours zoning in and out of the conversation at the table. Many of the men looked at me many times but I ignored them completely as I tried to concentrate on what everyone was talking about. The conversation was now on Arthur and how many times we could escort cavalries to the wall from the shore. He told them they had bigger things to be getting on with and explained about Woads and the safety of the villagers around them. 'Who'd want the tedious job anyway?' Gawain mumbled.

I smirked and let my eyes wander the room before they rested on a man with short hair and dark eyes. My heart froze in my chest. My worst nightmare was back to haunt me. He stared at me intently as I leaned back in my seat and looked away from him. I immediately put my fingers to my mouth as I tried to rid myself of the memories of him.

Shortly after the meeting was called to an end and I quickly walked out of the room toward my bedroom. I closed the door and fell to the floor as tears rolled down my cheeks. 'Stop crying,' I told myself. 'Its not worth it.'

I thumped my palm against my forehead and wiped my face with my skirt. 'Don't cry…keep cool…keep calm.'

I breathed out deeply and opened the door to my room. He was there, leaning against the door frame looking at me calmly. I chocked on my breath and made my face passive. 'Hello Stephen,' I said calmly.

'Evan,' he said in his raspy voice. 'It's been a while. I see you've decided to show the world your true gender.'

'What do you want?' I asked him.

He leaned his elbow against the wall beside us and put his other arm on the other side of the door closing me into the room. 'Just to say hello.'

'Well you've said it,' I stated calmly. 'Now get out of my way.'

'You're a lot tougher than you were that last time we met,' he said leaning his face close to mine. 'Remember that?'

'One of my more forgettable memories,' I said. 'Do you have a reason for following me?'

'None really,' he said stepping back and unblocking my way. His cocky smile playing on his lips. 'Unless you're-'

'No,' I said cutting him off. I closed the door to my room and began walking down the halls. 'I have no reason what so ever to be even speaking to you so go away.'

'Well you're here and I'm here and-'

'You are beginning to annoy me a lot,' I said as he took my arm. 'I got over you a long time ago, there is no point in digging up old graves.' I yanked my arm from his grip and began walking away again. I managed to walk all the way down the stairs when he called my name again.

'I'm sorry!' he said from the top of the stairs.

I smiled slightly and put my hands together. 'Big lesson learned isn't it? Apologies come too late for me. You should have known you're self that the grass is not always greener on the other side.'

I walked away smiling to myself.


	4. Gales

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing of King Arthur but I do own the character Evan.

**Author Note: **Thankyou for reviewing everyone. Sorry for the wait but I've been a bit busy with school.

**Beautiful Enigma: **Stephan is an old beau of Evans. He's a Roman soldier who ended up cheating on her so she left him. It was short….but it happened. You're review was very strong. Thankyou. I'm glad you're so supportive of the story.  
**MistakenLove: **haha. Wait until you read this chapter, you'll really flip. I'm really excited about this because I've added a different side of Tristan. Hope you like him.  
**KnightMaiden:** Girl you rock. Thanks.  
**Lady K 666: **Ok! I've updated! I hope you keep reviewing. Sorry for the wait. I'm so glad you like it.

Ok people! I'm jumping out of my seat as I'm about to post this because I'm so excited about how I've made Tristan. He kind of reminds me of Heath Leadger in 10 things I hate about you. Remember he's only 19 right now so he's not all….quiet and brooding yet….not totally. Tell me what you think. No flames.

0-0-0

**Gales**

'Deep in thought?' Tristan asked me.

I smiled at him as he sat down beside me. I sighed and looked out onto the hills. We were sitting on the wall of the fort. 'Yes,' I sighed. 'I'm quite bored here.'

'I agree,' he said taking out a small pipe.

'I didn't know you smoked,' I said looking at the pipe from the corner of my eye.

'You never asked,' he replied calmly. We sat in a comfortable silence for a long while.

'When did you get the tattoos?' I asked him as I looked at my hands.

'When I was 12. I killed 6 men in my first battle,' he said holding his pipe. The smell of burning weeds filled my nose and I realised I could do without the smell. It was not completely unpleasant only it had a sharp smell.

'So how are you?' I asked him. 'You don't seem happy about being here either.'

He shrugged. 'We are in closed walls with Romans all around us.'

'The tavern isn't providing entertainment?' I asked with a sly smile. 'I heard the entertainment there is quite good.'

He looked at me from the corner of his eye and let off a puff of smoke. 'It is not my style.'

'No?' I asked. 'Well…I'm sure the barmaids will be sad and missing your presence.'

'You find yourself amusing don't you?' he asked me icily.

'Sometimes.' I looked at him. 'I don't really have a gift for humour.'

'I could have told you that,' he said as he stowed his pipe away. He cracked his knuckles making me cringe.

'Doesn't it hurt?' I asked him.

'Not at all.' His hawk came flying down and it rested on Tristan's outstretched arm. It looked at me and pocked it head out slightly as if cautiously trying to touch me.

'She won't bite you,' he told me as I watched it fearfully.

'I've never been good around animals,' I said smiling slightly. Unexpectedly he took my hand and not breaking his eyes from mine he put my hand over his hawk's feathers. He showed me the way to stroke her and slowly let go of my hand as I patted her on my own. The hawk slowly closed her eyes and extended her wings slightly. It moved its neck forward and I scratched under her neck. I smiled happily at Tristan and he smiled back at me; happily.

I spent the next few hours speaking to him about random subjects. I was surprised when he actually spoke full sentences to me. We came from neighbouring tribes; him Iazyges and me Rhoxolani.

0-0-0

Tristan was surprised about how easy it was to speak to her. She listened to him calmly and without judgement and laughed often. He loved her smile. She was such a closed in person when he first met her but now she was an open, bubbly, happy girl who was completely girly. She moved her hands a lot when she spoke and often lifted her right eyebrow. Her lips. Those pouty soft lips captured the dark side of his imagination more than once. When she finished speaking she looked at him happily and he had no words for her.

'What?' she asked him.

'Nothing,' he said looking away from her.

0-0-0

I could help but feel like he wanted to tell me something. I turned to him silently wanting to say something but no sound came out. He looked at me finally and I gave him a small smile before looking ahead of us again. _'Stupid Evan. Don't even think about it. He doesn't see people in that way.'_

'What did he apologies for?'

I did not need to ask who 'he' was. I didn't know he had heard of him and I shrugged. 'Nothing really. A part of my life which is better left forgotten.'

'An old lover?' he asked me.

'Um…,' I said thinking deeply about it. 'No. Not in that way. We didn't last long enough to get there.'

He nodded once and looked slightly relieved. I smirked. 'I was lucky enough not to go that far. He is like a Roman version of Lancelot.'

Tristan said nothing as I fidgeted with my hands. I rubbed them together and he took them in his. I watched his fingers lace with mine and cover my smaller cold hands into his larger warmer ones. He looked at me calmly and I finally looked at him. Truly, really looked at him. We leaned our faces forward slightly and I looked at his lips. Within seconds I could feel his breath on my face. I felt a wave of shiver run through my body as one of his hands touched my face. I licked my lips nervously a second before his lips touched mine. I closed my eyes and brought my body close to his. He wrapped his arms around my waist holding me close and I put my hands to his chest. I had never felt anything like this before. His tongue entered my mouth desperately as his grip tightened on me.

I don't know why but my eyes opened wide as he held me tightly. I had never felt anything like it in my life but it felt so strange to me. I let myself relax against him and wrap my arms around his neck as his hands trailed up my back and buried themselves in my hair. He tilted my head to the side slightly and we continued to kiss lovingly until I heard someone calling my name. I pulled my mouth from his and looked around wildly. It seemed hours had gone by.

Tristan looked at me with worry in his eyes. I finally let myself look at him again after realising the coast was clear. 'I thought someone was calling me,' I said sheepishly.

He nodded and released me from his grip. I felt a hurt inside my heart when he let go of me. I felt like we would never be together again. Looking down at my hands nervously I wanted to get away. 'Um…I don't know what to think,' I said quietly. I could not trust my voice because I felt like crying at the moment.

'You can think of what ever you want,' he said looking at me.

I frowned not really understanding is words. 'What do _you _want?' I asked him.

He pulled out his pipe once more and did not answer my question. I stayed there waiting for him to answer. He lit the weeds inside the pipe and puffed for a moment before looking at me for a second. I lifted an eyebrow waiting for his answer and he looked away. 'You,' he said simply.

I felt like I had been slapped in the face. 'W…what?'

He didn't answer me. He didn't even look at me. Tears came to my eyes and I jumped off the wall. 'Evan!' he called. I just ran. I ran through the fort and all the way up to my room feeling his eyes upon me the whole time.

'Evan. What going on?' Lancelot asked. I ran past him and slammed the door to my room closed.

'_He wants me? All these years….he said nothing. We hardly speak! Tonight was the first night we had actually come to know one another!' _

I couldn't help but cry. My heart bled as shock and release came to me. I promised I would close my heart during my time as a Knight but I am open; and terrified of him breaking my heart.

0-0-0

I pulled my jacket tighter around my body as I rode through the bitter cold. I could speak today. Upon seeing Tristan that morning I wanted to run the other way but I held my ground and used every ounce of strength I had to be around the Knights. Everyone felt the tension with in minutes. They knew something was going on and I have no doubt that Lancelot will have expressed his surprise in seeing me running to my room crying last night.

I was no man. I could not act like them…I could not hold my emotions. Lancelot tired in vain to see what my problem was but I just told him I was tired. Truth be told _I _didn't even know what my problem was. I was nervous and scared but excited. I shook my head trying to clear the thoughts from my mind.

The wind blew past us wildly and my fists tightened around the reins of my horse. 'What going on?' Gawain shouted over the wind.

Tristan was riding back to us quickly. I looked past his moving figure and saw a dark grey cloud settling over us and a lightning bolt strike a nearby tree. As I felt the earth shake from the bolt Arthur shouted for us to make our way back to the fort. 'Come on Fru,' I urged. I pulled on her reins and she turned around toward the fort.

'What was that?' I asked as we entered the fort. People were making their way into the buildings as the wind began to blow roughly around the fort.

'Gales,' Gawain breathed.

'Its going to last a while,' Lancelot said looking at the sky. 'There are going to be wild storms.'

'A hidden talent?' I asked Lancelot as I put Fru Fru in the stables.

'I have many hidden talents,' he said wiggling his eyes brows.

'Sorry,' I said patting his arm. 'You're a bit too plain for me.'

I walked out of the stables leaving the Knights laughing at Lancelot as his ego was punctured. As I walked into the inn I could hear the winds whistling in my ears. I moved my hair from my eyes and watched another lightning bolt strike the forests. 'Lighting never hits the same place twice,' Tristan said behind me.

I jumped out of shock and turned to him. 'How do you know?'

He shrugged. 'It just is.'

I nodded silently, believing his words when he visibly breathed in deeply. 'About yesterday-'

He stoped talking when my head snapped up. I waited for him to say it was a mistake but he paused for a moment.

'Maybe we made a mistake,' he said calmly. I looked away from him and saw the cloud coming closer as the Knights were.

'If that's how you feel,' I said quietly.

'And you talk to me about being open,' he said shaking his head. 'You ran away!'

'I'm sorry,' I said looking at my hands. 'I guess I was scared. I'll see you later.'

I walked into the inn and closed the door behind me.

0-0-0

Tristan stood on the spot watching the cloud. 'You lad….are going to have to clear the air for us,' Bors said, 'because she ain't hormonal right now. Its got something to do with you.'

_As the storm raged outside:_

'So…you did all of that last night?' Lancelot asked as he leaned against the wall. The Knights were drinking ale in the meeting room as Tristan told them in short simple words of what happened last night. He did not want to tell them, because he did not want his business known. But he knew that Lancelot and Gawain along with Dagonet knew Evan the best so maybe they could shed some light onto her actions. He was not used to being treated the way she was treating him.

'Yes,' he said, leaning back in his seat. His accent was thick from lack of speaking in English but he was bored. His fringe covered his eyes but he could see all of the Knights clearly. There was no mistaking Arthur's hurt look and Dagonets clear anger over the situation. Gawain looked thoughtful and scratched his beard as Galahad past a hand through his already messy hair. Why were they all looking that way? It was ironic to him at how all the 'men' of the Knighthood had congregated together to work out what goes on inside the mind of the only female Knight.

Bors let out a hoot of laughter and clapped his hands together. 'This is where my Vanora would be wanted!' He scratched his head absentmindedly. 'Ain't it funny when you need a woman?'

'So she…just left?' Lancelot said, thinking over Tristan's words.

'Yes,' the scout said through clenched teeth as he spun his mug around on the table.

'Maybe you're just a bad kisser?' Lancelot suggested. Tristan glared at him dangerously and the flirtatious Knight sighed and sat down at the table.

'Dag…you know her best,' he said.

He leaned back in his seat and crossed his arms over his chest. Bors thumped him under the table knowing perfectly well what was ailing the giant Knight. Dag sighed and leaned forward onto the table. 'Women like the chase,' he said simply.

'Exactly!' Bors said as he slammed his hand on the table. 'There ain't nothing like a man doing everything he can to get the woman he loves.'

'Er..,' Tristan said as Bors said _love_. Bors seemed to wilt with disappointment at the silent Knights lack of enthusiasm.

'You do…hm…love Evan right?' he asked cautiously. 'I know she's young…16…she's a grown woman.'

Tristan didn't say anything and pulled out his pipe.

'_Here he goes with the pipe,' _Lancelot thought as he looked at the ceiling. 'You didn't use that around her did you?'

'Yeah,' Tristan mumbled as he clenched the pipe in between his teeth.

'And she didn't mind?' Lancelot asked.

Tristan leaned back in his seat and said nothing. 'It wasn't the pipe,' he said taking it out of his mouth for a moment.

'I'm still waiting for an answer,' Bors said, tapping his fingers on the table.

'You're not getting one,' Tristan said, with the pipe in his mouth.

'Well…that's the end of that,' Gawain said looking into his mug. 'I say go for the chase.'

'Me too,' said Galahad.

Arthur remained silent. Maybe he was too slow in making his moves. Maybe she had fallen for Tristan. All he knew was that at this moment he was hurting. Tristan was a Knight and a brother but thinking of her in his bed did not make him feel good and little did he know that Dagonet was feeling the same way.

'Oh geeze..,' Lancelot said as he looked at Arthur. Arthur shot him a sharp look telling him not to say anything and Lancelot quickly shut his mouth.

'_You do that again and I'll really show you my temper!' _said Evan's angry voice from the outside of the door. They heard shuffling and a thump.

'_I love tempered women. They are better in bed,' _said a deep voice.

All of the Knights looked toward the door and proceeded to get up when she spoke again.

'_Not with me pretty boy,' _she said before they heard a thump and a groan. _'Keep walking! Its not a side show.'_

They heard mumbling and people walking past. _'It's a storm not the end of the world! You won't die today no point in looking at me like that little fat man…keep walking.'_

'_Of all the indecent…wild women I have met…pagans,' _they heard him say.

'_Yeah, yeah…tell me another one. Now I'm sure Arthur will see you when he's ready. Now be on good behaviour and maybe I'll forgive you for your adventurous hands. Here we go…knock!' _she said in a voice that sounded mocking and angry at the same time.

'_Really,' _he huffed.

'_Yes…really,' _she said. _'It what we pagans do. Its called manners. Bye now little man.' _

The Knights heard a hasty knock and the door opening before Arthur could even tell him to enter. The fat little man from the meeting stood proudly before the 'pagans' and looked at Arthur. 'That woman…is from the devil,' he hissed.

Bors snorted. 'If yeh' say so 'little fat man'.'

Gawain and the Knights hooted with laughter as the little man went red. Tristan even chuckled.

'The storm is passing,' he said as he straightened up. 'My men are now going back to their jobs and your stay here has been cut short.'

'Really?' Arthur asked calmly. 'Well I'm glad things have been resolved quickly.'

'Yes,' he said briskly and he looked at Tristan who was still smoking his pipe. 'As am I. I cannot wait to see the back of that…deviant woman.'

'You speak of one of my Knights,' Arthur said as anger filled his voice. 'She may not be a man but she has more than earned the respect of those around her. Careful were your words tread…._sir._'

0-0-0

Lancelot closed the door to the meeting room as the Knights left. He looked at Arthur with shock and amazement etched on his face. 'When did this start?'

'As soon as I found out she was a woman,' Arthur said. He flopped down shamefully and put his face in his hands.

'Why did you say nothing?' Lancelot asked.

'I could not,' Arthur responded. 'I was not sure if it was lust or love but I think it's a bit of both.'

Lancelot groaned lightly before giving off a short bark of laughter. 'How can one woman have this effect on so many men?'

'What do you mean?' Arthur asked him.

'Have you not noticed Dagonet?' Lancelot said. 'I'm guessing he has been in love with her since she was twelve.'

'Anyone else?' Arthur asked.

'Me.'


	5. Amnesia

**Amnesia**

Tristan drank heavily that night. He fell asleep in his bed having just drowned a bottle of wine and three mugs of ale. The whole time thinking of Evan and how he wished that night he had more than kissed her. He wanted to make love to her and claim her as his. He was angry at himself for letting her run away. _'I should have followed her.'_

He slammed his fist down on the bed angrily and drowned the last of his ale before falling into a heavy sleep.

The next morning he woke up with a painful head ache. With a loud groan he rolled onto his side and felt around on the floor in his clothes for his pipe. He lit it quickly and began to look around his messy bed for a sign of alcohol. He pulled off his tunic and walked to the window with his pipe in between his teeth before putting his fingers through his messy hair. He may be a quiet man but he was going to win her…even if it took his whole life.

0-0-0

I decided to give life fresh start when I woke up after the storm. Arthur told us we would be leaving within a day or two. Stephan persisted me in front of everyone. I dodged going around him most of the time because he would never loose the chance to flirt with me in front of the Knights; especially Tristan and Arthur.

Tristan did not really notice me for the next few days until we left the fort. I rode beside Dagonet at the end of the line and we chatted lightly the same as we usually did. But there was something different. He seemed saddened slightly.

'Are you alright?' I asked him curiously.

'Yes,' he said giving me a brief smile. 'I am very well.'

'You seem sad,' I said caringly. He must have noticed the feeling in my voice because he looked at me deeply for a moment; causing my breath to hitch in my throat.

'I am not sad….just…in thought,' he said looking at me with piercing eyes.

I felt it best not to persist as I felt that he was being 'thoughtful' about something private. I gave him a brief smile before looking ahead.

We were going home, I hate to say it but…I really wanted to get back to the wall. I wanted to sleep in my bed and talk to Vanora, Elanore and Nani again.

0-0-0

We are one days ride from the fort. I was beginning to feel like my friendship with Tristan would never be the same again because he seemed even more distant now to when he was before. All the Knights seemed to be acting differently. I couldn't quite understand why but the way some of them would look at me made me angry.

It was not until we were sitting beside the fire one night when everyone was in a tight silence that my patience reached its end. 'Excuse me!' I said standing in the middle of the group. 'Do you people have some sort of problem?'

All of them looked upset and downcast at being spoken to like this. 'Would you all please get your act together because your attitude the past few days had been less than welcome.'

Still none of them spoke and with a huff I stomped off toward my horse leaving them to fix their attitudes. Why did they have to be so odd? They were never like this before! It seemed as if everyone of them had something to hide from me.

0-0-0

'She's right,' Bors said. 'We've been treating her badly.'

'I agree,' Dagonet said nodding.

'Ain't given me the latest gossip in two weeks,' Bors said. 'Usually I would be hearing about everyone's latest news but she's been on a drought. I want the old Evan back so fix your problems…all of you.'

'I haven't got a problem!' Galahad said looking greatly affronted.

'Me either,' Gawain said. 'What did I do?'

The rest of the Knights looked at one another angrily and it suddenly dawned on each of them. 'You're all in love with her aren't you?' Gawain asked pointing to his fellow Knights. Galahad slapped his knees and laughed. 'You…and you Lancelot….and Dag…and _Arthur?'_

'Oi,' Bors mumbled as he rubbed his neck.

'Four of you?' Galahad asked looking at his brothers. 'Can you imagine if she was still pretending to be a man?'

'That would be strange,' Lancelot mumbled. 'I'd be having difficult thoughts at the moment.'

0-0-0

I stretched as I began to feel sleep come over me. I was leaning against a tree on a nearby hill. I could see the Knights clearly. _'One..two..four..six. Where is the seventh?' _

I pulled my tunic a bit looser and sighed as I watched the fire.

'Tired?' asked Tristan's voice.

I closed my eyes and willed myself to be calm. 'Yes,' I said after a moment.

'You should sleep then,' he said matter-of-factly.

'I know.'

'So why don't you?'

'Because you're here,' I said as I looked up at him. He was calm but tired…I could tell these things. 'You all confuse me.'

'You confuse me,' he said calmly. I scowled loudly and rose from the ground and looked at him angrily. I was in no mood to hear him patronise me. 'What do you want from me exactly Tristan?'

'I already told you,' he said leaning on the tree slightly.

'I'm no bed warmer,' I said crossing my arms over my chest. 'I'm not going to be your floozy.'

'If I wanted that I would have bedded a barmaid,' he snapped. 'It doesn't suit me. After a while its not enough.'

'So you've done it?' I asked angrily. 'No matter, ha? Casual partners are good until you realise it won't last aren't they?'

'Touchy subject?' he asked me. I felt tears coming to my eyes and began to walk away when he grabbed my arms and stopped me from moving. 'Stop acting like a child,' he said as his eyes flashed with frustration.

I stoped moving and looked at the ground as he held me at arms length. His grip loosened slightly but it was still tight on my arms. 'I…I don't want a lie. I've been through it before and it hurt,' I said keeping my eyes on the grass. I felt a tear run down my cheek and I brushed it away. I looked up at him feeling the pain of my last relationship come through. 'Don't hurt me Tristan…I want to person I share my bed with to love me…and not just think I'm only good for that.'

What he did next surprised me beyond anything. He let go of my arms and hugged me. It was not desperate or unfelt…it was caring. He held me to him with his arms around me stroking my hair and back. I buried my face in his neck and wrapped my arms around him as his lips brushed my jaw. 'It okay,' he said softly. 'I had no idea…I-'

I cut him off by kissing his lips lightly. I pulled back and smiled slightly. 'It was years ago…now kiss me again like you did on the wall.'

0-0-0

Bors stood watching the scene in awe. He heard every word she spoke and watched how Tristan comforted her. He could see Tristan's love for her as he kissed her. He kissed the way he fought his battles. With precision and deadly aim. He looked away as the scouts hands drifted to places he would rather not see and made his way slowly back to the camp.

He suddenly felt a pang of guilt for his friend. Dag would be heartbroken at learning she had taken up with the scout. But Tristan never said he loved Evan. Tristan was never one to say these things out loud but did he love her? There was no doubt in his mind that after watching her cry and beg him not to break her heart; Tristan loved Evan.

0-0-0

Tristan pinned me against the tree as his hands clutched my backside. I kissed down his neck as I undid the ties on his tunic. I trailed my bottom teeth along his Adam's apple causing him to grunt loudly and move to undo the front of my breeches.

It occurred to me that maybe I should have told him I had never bedded a man because I had the distinct feeling that I came across the wrong way.

I kissed his lips as he picked me up and put me to the damp grass. I looked at me with lust filled eyes as I panted on the ground.

'Are you sure?' he asked breathlessly.

I nodded. 'But I…never…not even in my last-'

'You've never done this before?' he asked me.

I lifted an eyebrow and shifted under him slightly. 'We never got around to it. I'm sixteen Tristan…it wasn't on _my_ mind.'

He kissed me tenderly as I wrapped my legs around his waist. He proceeded to kiss my neck when we heard a distant horn blow. We both froze and listened for the sound again. 'What is that?' I asked when it blew again.

'Picts,' he said as he got off me. I tied the front of my breeches quickly and he smirked down at me before helping me up.

0-0-0

'Watch out!' I yelled at Dag as a Pict shot an arrow toward him.

I was still on my horse cutting down Picts as I went. Most of them were dead but the few that remained wouldn't die! I killed one that was trying to stab me and another came toward me with a spear. My mare jumped back on her hind legs and I fell off hitting the ground hard. I saw nothing more.

0-0-0

'Evan!' Tristan called.

He saw Fru Fru lying down on the ground prodding a figure. He ran toward her quickly and saw she was lying unconscious on her back. He touched her face calling her name but she did not wake. Her mare prodded her with its nose again letting of a sound of frustration when she did not wake.

'Arthur!' Gawain called when he saw Evan lying on the ground.

'Let me see her,' Dagonet said. Tristan moved slightly as Dagonet checked her for wounds. After a moment he shook his head and looked up. 'She had no wounds. She's been knocked out.'

'Thank God,' Arthur said as he leaned on his sword.

'Look at her horse,' Lancelot said pointing to Fru Fru. She was still sitting beside Evan but she was putting one of her front legs on her chest and shaking her. 'She's trying to wake her.'

'Ever seen a horse do that?' Bors asked as he watched the mare shake her head violently and give off an angry neigh. 'Lets get the poor lass into a tent.'

0-0-0

I groaned as I clutched my head. Slowly I opened my eyes and found myself lying on my back. A hand took mine firmly and I groaned again.

'She's awake! MEN!'

'Don't shout please,' I said as I pinched my nose. 'My heads spinning right now.'

6 men walked into the tent and stood around me. I thought they looked familiar but for some reason I didn't know where I knew them from. 'Are you feeling better Evan?' asked the one with long blond hair.

I frowned deeply as complete confusion set into me. 'I'm sorry….but….who are you all?'

The men looked at one another as I silently stared at them. Who are these people?


	6. A new introduction

**A new introduction**

I sat staring at the seven men in front of me as they looked at a loss for words.

'Evan?' asked the eldest one. He was bald and very muscly and all I could think of was that he was the father like figure of the group.

'I know that's my name,' I said looking at him. I waved my finger around at the men around me. 'But who are you?'

'Were the Knights,' said the one with Roman armour. 'So are you.'

'But I'm a woman,' I said as if he was lying. For some reason I felt like he wasn't.

'But you're a Knight,' said the blond one. 'We've been together for four years now. Were all from Sarmatia! You went undercover as a boy until we found out you were a woman.'

'Ha?' I asked nasally. 'Why would I do something so stupid? Did you kidnap me?'

'What!' asked a handsome one. 'No we did not! Don't you remember anything?'

'Er…I know my name is Evan…and…I um…,' I racked my mind for information about myself but everything was a blur. 'Who's Jirdan?'

'Your brother,' said a giant Knight. He sat down beside me as I tried to remember him. 'Don't you remember anything?'

'Um…no,' I said simply. 'Do…do you think you could tell me your names?' I felt stupid asking but I couldn't keep thinking of them as Roman and Father of the Knights and Giant man.

'I am Arthur, your Commander,' said the Roman.

'I am Lancelot,' said the handsome one.

'Gawain,' said the blond man.

'Dagonet.'

'Galahad.'

'Bors.'

'Tristan.' When he said his name I frowned inwardly. Why do I think of kissing when I look at him. _'I am so perverted.'_

'Ok…,' I said uncomfortably. 'What am I doing here?'

'We all live at Hadrian's Wall,' Arthur said. 'We have lived there for just over four years.'

'Ok….I remember fighting….my horse…using a sword….and a little fat Roman man…mind you….I hate most Romans,' I said chattily.

'She can still be chatty,' Galahad mumbled.

'What is the last thing you remember,' Arthur asked me.

'I'm not exactly going to tell you _that_,' I said as a blush crept up my cheeks. 'Lets just say not much.'

'Oh,' Bors said, pinching his nose. Then he laughed and slapped Tristan on the shoulder. I was utterly confused and very tired. They left to let me rest. I closed my eyes as I pulled the covers over my body and fell straight to sleep.

0-0-0

'She hit her head,' Dagonet said sadly. 'She remembers some things which is a good sign. She'll get her memory back quickly but I think we should let the healer at the Wall see her.'

'How long until she gets her memory back?' Arthur asked.

'It could be days or weeks. We need to keep giving her information so her mind keeps working. We should keep moving on the road but until we know for sure she will be comfortable with us she should not go on any missions,' Dagonet said. Arthur agreed and gave orders to be back on the road with in the hour.

0-0-0

We arrived at Hadrian's Wall by nightfall. I knew where we were and I knew why I was here but I did not recognise any of the people. A red headed woman ran out toward us and hugged Bors tightly before moving to me. I couldn't place her in my mind. She looked so familiar but I just didn't know her. Bors pulled her aside for a moment, I knew he was explaining what happened to me because the woman put her hand over her mouth and gasped. I was really out of place. A tall blond man came out smiling and asked me if I wanted to take my horse to the stables or he. Tristan tapped the man on the shoulder and whispered something causing the man to look at me wide eyed and then nod. Tristan took the reins from my hands and gave the horse to Jols.

I felt like a child. The red headed woman who introduced herself as Vanora showed me to my room. As soon as I opened the door a lot of things came rushing back to me. 'You helped me pretend I was a boy,' I said as I stared at my trunk.

'Yes,' she grinned. 'I sowed your clothes and did your hair.'

'I feel a bit odd,' I said as I played with the hem of my tunic. 'Could you tell me if I…me and one of…'

She smiled at me. 'Its complicated with all of you. You have never slept with any of the Knights but…there is a small something there with a few of them.'

'A few?' I asked. 'So not just one?'

'Yes, dear,' she said. 'Do you want me to tell you who they are?'

'No,' I said. 'I'd rather just…go with the flow for now.' I smiled as I remembered something. 'I remember Dagonet training me at night. When we first came here. We'd practise while you sat watching and sowing my clothes.'

Vanora laughed. 'Oh…I'm so glad it's coming back. Now…let's get you into a bath.'

0-0-0

Vanora sat down beside Bors. She had just put her two children to bed and was ready to do so herself. Bors was rubbing his chin thoughtfully his mug of ale was fully in front of him. 'What is it Bors?' Vanora asked him.

He took in a deep breath and looked at his mug. 'Just before Evan fell off her horse she and Tristan were kissing. At the fort they had taken a step but she became scared and ran from him. I thought he said something stupid but it wasn't that at all. It seems that…she had been in a relationship before and ended up getting seriously hurt. I've never seen him so gentle with anything his life, maybe his hawk, but right when he realised he was in love with the woman she has this accident.'

'Oh Bors,' she said as she took his hand.

'That's not the worst of it,' Bors said looking at her.

'What could be worse than loosing love after an accident?' she asked.

'Arthur, Lancelot and Dag…all of them Van…they are all in love with her too.'

'Oh my Gods,' Vanora sighed. 'That poor girl.'

'Tristan's in a state,' Bors said. 'Went to see him just before. Smokin' like a chimney and drinking. He doesn't know what to do. Should he tell her…should he leave it? Finally admitted he loved the little vixen…and he won her over…I thought he was gonna go mad after a while but…just breaks my heart.'

Vanora kissed his cheek and sat on his lap. 'They'll be alright Bors…if it is meant to be it will be.'

0-0-0

It had been three days after arriving at the Wall.

Tristan sat on his bed with his head in his hands. He was confused about what to do. It was the middle of the night and everyone was asleep. He rubbed his hand over his bare chest in deep thought and eyed his pipe. No, he could smoke anymore. He had already smoked it three times and it was getting to be a bit much.

Right now…he needed someone. He wanted to kiss someone and hug them. He needed the feel of someone beside him at that moment. He was 19. He was a man. A man who was in love with a 16 year old woman who had stolen the hearts of three other Knights. But she kissed _him_. She begged _him _not to break her heart and was about to make love to _him_ before the battle came. What was he to think?

He snapped out of this thoughts when he heard the door from across the hall open and then close. _'Evan's room.'_

He pulled on his tunic and slowly opened his door. He listened for sounds and heard lightly footsteps walking up to the roof. He followed and reached the roof top after climbing the side of the wall and found Evan sitting on the roof in a night dress. A yellow, knee length dress and nothing more. She was looking down at her hands sadly and playing with the hem of her dress.

Tristan watched her wavy hair blow in the light wind and a tear flow down her cheek. She wiped it away quickly and sniffed before putting her head in her hands. He walked further onto the roof and she did not move. 'I remember you,' she said, not moving. After a second she looked at him and looked away. 'It's fuzzy but its all there.'

Tristan sat down beside her and watched the tears shine in her eyes. She laughed sadly. 'It's quite funny when you loose your memory for a while and then you have to think of everything all over again.' She looked down at her hands again. 'I even remember why I came here,' she said in a sad voice. 'I still have received no reply from the letter I sent. I guessed it would take a while but then I keep asking myself why I didn't send one sooner. And then I came up with the answer. I really don't want to know. You see…when I took my brothers place…I lied and said I would come back.' She finally looked at him with shining eyes. 'I'll never go back. I'll never see my family again and I'll never see my village again. Because for you….and for everyone else here, what I did…was supposedly honourable. But for them…maybe not my parents…but the village…I shamed them.' She gave a short laugh and looked at the bright moon. 'But its all back.' She tapped her head. 'Vanora's prodding…Elanore's gossip…and Arthur's 'shot talks' all made it come back. But the last thing that came back to me was about you.'

'Maybe I should have said something,' he said looking at her.

She shrugged. 'They still don't know anything so…if you were in my position I would have done what you did.'

'You still talk a lot,' he said smiling slightly.

'I'm balancing you out,' she said smiling. 'You don't talk enough. But I don't mind that…you talk when you need to.'

'You said that two years ago,' he said. 'I still love you.'

She looked at him silently.

'But so do many others….in the same way I love you,' he said.

'I know,' she said. 'I never said anything because it would have been awkward. But I chose you. Right before the accident…I told you I want the person I slept with to love me…I still want that.'

'You knew about them?' he asked her. 'Lancelot….and Arthur and Dagonet?'

She nodded. 'Woman have ways of concealing things. And I love them too.'

His eyes saddened slightly and he sighed in defeat as he looked away from her. She took his face in her hands. 'But not like I love you.'

0-0-0

He was carrying me to his room. My legs were wrapped tightly around his waist as he kissed me lovingly. He blindly opened the door to his room and kicked it closed before dropping me onto the bed. I gave a yelp before he leaned down and kissed me roughly. I pulled him on top of me by his tunic and pulled it of him.

I really wanted to do this. I wanted him to love me. His soft lips kissed down my neck as I felt his hands lifting my night dress. _'This is the right thing.'_

I could not think anymore as my senses ran wild. All I knew was that I was making love to the silent scout who I loved so much. Love came up and slapped me when I least expected it to. I broke my own promise to myself. I let myself fall in love and I broke other hearts while doing it.

Hours later I woke up with the feeling of something on top of me. Tristan had his head on my chest and one of his legs wrapped around mine. He was fast asleep. His hand held one of my hips as his other held my hand. We spent many hours making love. He knew I was a virgin and made sure to be careful but I had none of it. I wanted to be able to let him be free; because I was tired of being treated like a sick little child.

'Morning,' he mumbled, not moving at all.

'How long have you been awake?' I asked him as I moved his hair from his face.

'A while,' he said burying his face in my chest further. I giggled as his beard tickled my skin. 'This is the first morning in 5 days that I haven't woken up drunk and needing to smoke.'

'Really?' I asked him. 'You never used to get drunk.'

'I didn't have a reason to,' he said slowly.

I closed my eyes knowing it was my fault he did it. I knew he didn't want to put blame on me but I felt bad all the same. He kissed my lips just as I was falling asleep but I did not move any part of me except my eyebrow. He kissed me again and I smiled. 'We just finished a few moments ago…you want to go again?'

'Yes,' he said pulling me down the bed further causing me to yelp. 'We are setting a new record.'

'Number 6…,' I said with a grin. 'And it's not even sunrise.'

He gave a short evil laugh as he killed down my stomach…..

0-0-0

Galahad walked into the stables looking like he had not slept all night. He gave Tristan and I an evil glare before walking to his horse. 'What's going on?' Lancelot mouthed to me.

I shrugged and Tristan had a smug smile on his face. We knew Galahad's room and Dagonet's room's were next to Tristan's. Galahad rubbed his eyes as he walked past is holding his horse's reins. 'Wow,' I mouthed as I followed him.

Arthur and Bors seemed to be in a bit if a huff as well. It seemed that all the Knights had a problem or two. All except Tristan and I. Lancelot noticed that Tristan's seemed happier, if it were possible for him to seem happy.

At mid day as the Knights ate I stood in front of Fru Fru rubbing her chin as she put her nose to my face. 'You're a good girl aren't you?' I cooed happily. 'I heard about you trying to wake me up…ha? You're such a good girl and when we get back to the Wall I'll get Jols to give you a thorough brush.'

I flicked my long hair over my shoulder and saw something in the trees. I squinted and took one step to the side of my horse trying to see it again. Fru Fru turned around and faced the same way I was. 'I know girl,' I said watching the woods. 'There is something following us…or someone.'

We rode through the plains all day. Every now and then I looked toward the forest for a sign of something following us and saw nothing. That was until sunset. Tristan stoped his horse suddenly and watched all around us. 'There is something following us,' he said looking into the woods.

'Where?' Arthur asked.

'The woods,' he answered. 'It's no animal.'

For a moment I saw a flicker of blue. 'What the-' I stoped talking when a familiar figure came into view for a split second. 'Guinevere,' I said to myself.

'What?' Gawain asked.

'I know who it is,' I said getting off my horse. 'She's harmless.'

I ran into the woods quickly as the Knights exclaimed about not understanding women and Lancelot said he wished we would give specifics when we did something.

I ran two feet into the woods when Guinevere jumped out of the trees. 'Evan!' she said smiling. She hugged me briefly.

'It has been a while,' I told her with a smile. 'You could have come out…they would not have hurt you.'

'I know,' she said with a nod. 'But Merlin says now is not the time for us to meet yet. I will meet your Knights soon. I am glad to see you still remember me. Rumours of your loss of memory spread quickly through the lands.'

'Well with the help of the Knights I managed to get it back.'

She wiped her hair from her face smiling. 'And so much more,' she said with a grin.

I smirked. 'Tell me…why am I seeing you so far from your home?'

'I came to tell you that…travellers from your home are headed this way. I watched them for many days and they do not seem to good.' Her face seemed unhappy.

'Not to good for what? Health or are they bad people?' I asked her.

'They are not good people,' she said. 'Some of them seem as if they are….angry while others stay silent and weary. When you meet them….be on your guard.'

'I will,' I said.

She looked toward the open plains through the forest trees and smiled. 'They wait for you. Be safe my friend.'

'And you.'

0-0-0

'So Sarmatian's are coming here?' Lancelot asked after I told them what Guinevere said.

'It would seem so,' I said thoughtfully. 'It would have taken them a while to arrive though.'

'They would have had to leave when the falling season was ending,' Galahad said.

I pulled my jacket tighter around my body and felt something fall on my nose. I blinked and looked up to see snow falling from the sky. 'It would seem the cold season is in full motion,' Lancelot said with a grin.

I looked ahead and saw a wooden gate with buildings behind it. We had arrived at our destination. The village 'Cesar.' It was a small Roman settlement for soldiers in high ranks. Lancelot glared at the place; he hated all things Roman.

'I don't understand you,' I told him. 'You gamble with them practically every night yet you hate the sight of their settlements.'

'I does not mean I have to like them,' he said calmly.

'Okay,' I said with a sigh.

He looked at me from the corner of his eye and grumbled when he realised I was purposely looking ahead wistfully. I wanted to give my opinion.

'You might as well spit it out,' he said. 'I know you have something to say.'

Bors chuckled and mumbled about me knowing how to keep them all in line.

'Well..' I began earning Lancelot's rolled and a dramatic sigh from Arthur. 'Hey! He asked for my opinion and I'm going to give it! Not all Romans are bad; case in point.' I pointed to Arthur who gave me a sour look. 'And…some of them can be quite nice if you only said 'hello' like a man. I'm saying this to all of you.'

'Not the last time,' Lancelot scowled. 'That Roman was ready to engage in a fist fight. Which I would have won.' He added the last bit with pride.

'He wouldn't have wanted to kill you if you hadn't slept with his sister,' I said matter-of-factly.

'I did n..,' he stoped when a dawning look appeared in his eyes. 'Oh.'

'Yes,' I said, completely satisfied at winning my point. 'I'm not saying that are all nice I'm just saying caution on all your parts would do you some good.'

'You're starting to sound like Arthur,' Dagonet said.

'Oh Gods no,' I said with a laugh. 'I'm just saying what I see. And I see and hear a lot. Even if I don't say so.'

I don't know how they took the last of my words. All of them seemed deep in thought when I finished speaking. Arthur seemed to understand. I felt terrible about hurting him but I couldn't pretend to love them when I loved someone else differently. Not more…just differently. I couldn't say I loved them all the same and had affairs with them all because then I would be no better than the barmaid who warmed their beds when their lust reached its peak. I would for no reason lower myself to that, and I know they would not want me to either. I may be a woman, but I am their equal, their friend, their sister and someone who would love them no matter what they did.


	7. Cesar's Village

**Disclaimer: _I own nothing of King Arthur….but I own the character Evan. _**

**Author Note: **

**_I'd just like to say that, I didn't realise that this was the last chapter. I did imagine writing a sequel to this but I prefer to leave it as it is. I'd like to thank everyone who read it, even if they didn't review. It's been a privilege in writing this story for you all and I hope you'll look out for more of my writings. I know it's a short story, but please do not be too disappointed in me for at the end….everything works out for the best. _**

**Beautiful Enigma: _Don't worry about it. Just the fact that you wrote those few sentences means a lot. Thanks. _**

**Lady K 666: _Thankyou for your kind words. I'm so glad you like this story so much. _**

**KnightMaiden: _You rock girl!_**

**_Enjoy….and review everyone. For old times sake. _**

0-0-0

**Cesar's Village**

I stood beside Tristan as Arthur spoke to the roman in charge. It did not seem too good around the fort because many of the soldiers were nursing injuries from a recent battle against Woads.

Tristan was observing the fort with sharp eyes and watched a group of Romans with a death glare as they stared at me when they walked past. I clenched my teeth to keep from blushing and smiling at them. They were a handsome bunch of men; I couldn't deny it.

Arthur came back telling us that many of the men had been injured in battles and they were short on healers. Dagonet and I offered to help since we had experience in healing and they took it graciously. The Roman Arthur had been speaking to introduced himself as Andreas Septimus. He was a very tall muscly man with long straight black hair and ridiculously bright blue eyes. I didn't move from Tristan's side as he talked with us all about the fort's business to which Gawain, Bors, Tristan and particularly Lancelot seemed to have no interest.

It was not until a woman with long light brown hair and brown eyes came toward us that I had a real interest in the place. She wore a tunic and breeches but would not wipe her flirty smile off her face. We eyed one another closely and knew that we knew one another. But from where? She certainly wasn't Roman…but Gods she looked familiar. It was when she spoke that it hit me.

'Hi,' she said happily. 'I'm Sara.'

'Evan,' I said. I laughed inwardly when her expression changed from flirty and happy to dawning and slightly nervous.

'Oh,' she said.

'Yes,' I said shortly. 'Nice to see you again.'

'W…what?' she asked me shyly.

'Don't fell bad,' I said mockingly. 'I got over it as soon as it happened. I hope you've found someone better in the mean time. Hopefully not someone _taken._'

The Knights began to quiet down as they began listening in on the exchange of words. Sara seemed very uncomfortable and extremely guilty as I looked at her sternly. 'He played us both you know,' she said quietly.

'I know,' I said calming down from my anger. 'Don't feel bad…like I said. I got over it quickly.'

0-0-0

'What was that about?' Tristan asked me as we walked through the fort.

'Well…in my previous….short….good for nothing relationship it was because of her that I didn't go any further with it,' I said. It didn't hurt to talk about it anymore. In fact it felt alright.

'Right,' he said as he took my hand. We walked down a narrow deserted path where Tristan pulled me into a side street.

'Tri-' I couldn't speak any further because he covered my mouth with his. I smiled against his demanding kiss as he pinned me against the wall. 'We…are…in full….view of…ev..ev..ry…o..one,' I said in between kisses.

He smirked and pinned my hands behind me. He picked my up and I wrapped my legs around his waist tightly as he kissed down my neck. I closed my eyes and hugged him tightly. It suddenly dawned on me that the simple things in life are what I wanted. And it also came to me that I had to tell the men who loved me that my heart belonged to someone else.

'You want to talk to them don't you?' he asked me.

'Yes. It's not fair. You don't have to say anything after wards but…it would just feel….right,' I said as I twirled one of his braids in between my fingers.

'Alright,' he said.

'Really?'

'Yes,' he said with a laugh. He kissed me again as his hands treaded to dangerous places.

0-0-0

'Arthur?'

I sat down beside my commander on a chair by his window. He was looking out onto the fort silently. His armour had been abandoned on his bed and he sat in only boots, breeches and a tunic. The silent 18 year old finally looked at me but did not smile. 'I'm happy for you,' he said honourably. 'When I first found out you were a girl my greatest fear was not your life because we could have lied to Rome easily…but how the others would treat you. I am glad they took to you as quickly as they did.'

'Me too.' I looked outside briefly. 'You know…its early days yet. We still have another 11 years together and hopefully after we finish our time…we will still be able to remain close…but even when you are not around. Stuck in your room thinking up battle tactics and ways of defying Rome but doing it all in the name of your God…as much as they hate Rome because of what they took away from us…they still have a great deal of respect for you. Me too…I respect you too. After you still treated me like an equal after finding out I was a girl it means more to me than your respect to me when you thought I was a boy. It's what makes you different from the rest of your people.'

His eyes danced happily but his face remained passive. I smiled slightly and cleared my throat wanting to lighten the mood. 'You're right,' he said as he straightened up. 'And it's true…I do love you. As I know you know many of the others do to. You're easy to fall in love with because you're just as beautiful on the inside as you are outside.'

I smiled sheepishly and blushed. 'Thanks.'

I rose from the chair and kissed his cheek. 'You're sweet…for a Roman.'

0-0-0

I knocked on Lancelot's door slowly a few hours after speaking to Arthur. I waited nervously before he opened it with a surprised look on his face until he noticed my expression. Without a word he stepped aside and let me in.

I looked around the room nervously as I played with my fingers…trying to find exactly what I wanted to say. 'You know…when I first came here….I thought you would be the first to find out my secret. The pretty boy of the group who could spot a woman a mile away.' I turned to him with a slight smile. 'I'm sorry…that…I don't love you the way you want me to. But I do. It feels strange but I do love you…a lot even. But it's the same way I love Arthur, and Dag…and Gawain and Galahad…even Bors. I know it could very easily be something else but its not. I just don't want you to go through life waiting and thinking 'maybe' when there won't be.'

He looked at the floor and nodded. 'I understand…even if I don't want to. I just…don't want you to forget this. I do love you. I'd be in a very, _very _strange state of mind right now if you were still pretending to be a man but….I don't deny what I feel.'

'I'm sorry,' I said quietly. I felt terrible about hurting him. I kissed his cheek softly and he turned his head toward me as I did so. I knew what he wanted. Slowly I brought my lips so his and kissed him softly. He did not ask for more which I was thankful for. He smiled down at me and I quickly squeezed his hand before leaving.

0-0-0

'Lancelot….Evan….Tristan,' Arthur said as he panted down the hallways. 'Follow me.'

I ran with them to the stables where I followed Arthur's lead and saddled my horse. 'We have a small band of Woads around us. We must take them down before they do damage to this village,' Arthur said as he mounted his horse.

It was late afternoon and we rode around the woods where the Woads had said to be spotted. 'There is nothing here,' I said as I looked into the woods.

'They are waiting for us,' Tristan said as he nodded to a tree that shifted high above us. 'Archers.'

'Let's not give them an invitation,' Arthur said as he watched the woods.

Out of the blue Romans rode to us and arrows immediately shot out of the trees. 'Bastards!' Lancelot shouted as we tried to get away from the arrows.

Fru Fru was moving on the spot restlessly. I pulled on her reins to make her calm down but she kept trying to move. 'Stop,' I told her softly as I patted her neck. The Romans were coming closer and closer and then I felt a sharp pain hit my side.

'Evan!' Arthur shouted as the Roman's halted.

More arrows flew from the trees and I heard screams in my ears. I looked down at my hands and saw that they were covered in blood. I pulled the offending arrow out of my side and tried to stop the bleeding as Tristan pulled me off my horse. 'Get under cover,' he told me sternly.

But there was no time. Woads attacked from the woods and I had no choice but to fight them. I drew my sword with a shaking hand and engaged in combat. It killed 6 Woads before I unconsciously dropped my sword. I looked down at my wound and saw it seeping with blood. 'Shit,' I mumbled as I ripped part of my tunic to put the cloth on the wound.

'Evan.' Lancelot knelt down in front of me and put his hands on my shoulders. 'Can you hear me?'

'What's going on?' I finally felt the pain of my wound and tears came to my eyes as my knees gave way.

'Evan.' He patted my face as fear etched in his voice but I could not respond. I felt cold and scared. I took in a deep shuddering breath and fell into his arms as I felt my eye lids become heavy.

'Evan you stubborn woman….look at me,' he yelled as he shook my body. 'Don't die on me.'

'I'm _really _sorry,' I whispered as I looked at him with tear filled eyes. 'Tell Dag too…because I didn't get a chance to.'

'No…now look at me because I'm getting you back. Don't do this. Come on,' he said as his voice hitched with tears.

I felt a tear roll down my cheeks and his fingers wiped it away. 'Tell Tristan that I love him ok? Pl….please.'

And without another thought my whole world went black.

0-0-0

'EVAN!'

Lancelot screamed her name as her body lay limp in his arms. Tristan immediately looked in their direction when hearing Lancelot's broken scream and felt his heart plummet when he saw Evan's dead body in his arms. Lancelot was rocking backwards and forwards with his face in the crook of her neck.

Tristan broke into a run as did Arthur and looked down at them both. Lancelot looked up. His face was tear stained a bloodied. 'I'm sorry Tristan,' he said quietly. Tristan fell to his knees as he stared at Evan's pale face. She just looked to be sleeping but he knew she was so much more.

Arthur put a hand on Tristan's shoulder as tears flowed freely from his eyes. 'I'm sorry brother.'

Lancelot put Evan in Tristan's arms and was pulled up from the ground by his commander. The whole field was littered with the bodies of dead Romans and Woads. Only a few Roman's remained and they were looking curiously at the Knights as Lancelot and Arthur approached them but Tristan remained with Evan.

'Evan,' Tristan whispered. 'D….don't be dead. Please.' He touched her lips with his thumb and bit his lip as tears threatened to flow. He hugged her tightly and buried his face in her chest. 'No.'

0-0-0

The world seemed to stop at that moment. The fog in the air surrounded them heavily and the clouds darkened. A brief moment of sadness passed over Britain and no one knew where it came from.

As the gates of Cesar's Village opened everyone came out to welcome the Knights of Arthur back but upon seeing the scout carrying the body of a woman everyone's smiles vanished. Dagonet, Bors, Gawain and Galahad stoped in their tracks upon seeing the depressed, broken expressions of their brothers. 'My Gods,' Bors breathed as he saw Evan's body.

Arthur stood before the commander of the village. His expression was one of absolute sadness. 'We leave for Hadrian's Wall immediately,' he said in a commanding voice.

And so it was. The Knights arrived at Hadrian's wall with Evan's body and the village elapsed into mourning. Vanora broke down immediately and sobbed against Bors as Tristan carried her body through to the main building.

He didn't know whether to scream or cry. All at once his emotions were pounding his head. 'Tristan,' Jols said as he put a hand on his shoulder. 'Let me take her in.'

'No,' Tristan said quietly. 'I will.'

0-0-0

The Knights sat around the round table in silence. They had just buried Evan's body in the cemetery. It was the day after arriving at Hadrian's Wall. All of them had been crying before they began drinking. Arthur was holding his head in his hands as he held his breath to stop his grief from taking over him. Lancelot sat staring at the middle of the table as Bors sat like a rag doll drinking heavily. The person other that Tristan who took it the hardest was Dagonet. He did not know what to do when he saw her body. All of them were heart broken…..and it seemed that for a while, so was the rest of the world.

0-0-0

**11 Years Later**

Tristan felt the last blow of the Saxon's sword pass through him. His mouth filled with blood as every part of his body screamed in pain. The sword was withdrawn from his side and he sat on his knees for a moment.

Right in front on him was the figure of a tall woman in a flowing yellow dress. He smiled down at him at her eyes shone with tears. He could not believe his eyes. In all of the years she had been dead, he hoped he would one day see her again.

He felt no pain now. He was looking down at Evan who stood beside him. Slowly, she lifted her hand and touched his cheek. 'I waited for you,' she said softly.

She looked at his body and took his hand in hers as he stood beside her silently. 'We must wait for Lancelot,' she said looking in the direction of the Knight who was falling to his knees.

'Can you not do anything?' Tristan asked her as he watched his brother Knight dying.

She shook her head. 'No. I'm not allowed to help anyone. I can only see you and you can see me….if you really wanted to.'

'I did,' he told her. 'Why didn't you come to us?'

'I was always there,' she said as she smiled at him. 'Your hawk could see me as well. She sensed me when I was with you. Look.' She pointed to Dagonets spirit. He walking toward them with a smile on his face.

Tristan looked at Evan and noticed her change. Her hair was longer, it fell down to her waist, and her eyes were brighter and she She also seemed older. 'You changed,' he said. 'But you died when you were sixteen.'

'You see me as you want to see me,' she said. 'I do not remain as a sixteen year old in death. Here he comes.'

Lancelot looked around himself and noticed three figures standing one beside the other smiling at him. 'Dag? Tristan? Evan….my Gods!'

Evan smiled at him as he walked to them trying to figure out what was going on with him. 'Am I dead?'

'Yes,' Dagonet said calmly. 'We could not move on without you so we decided to wait a bit.'

'It's been quite fun watching you all,' Evan said as Lancelot arched an eyebrow. 'You were quite the ladies man weren't you?'

'Not anymore,' he said as he looked around. 'So what do we do now?'

'Follow that,' Evan said. She was pointing to a bright white light in the shape of a circle in the middle of the battle grounds. 'Then we get to go home….for real this time.'

At once all of them stepped through the white light and found themselves staring at green fields. 'Are we…?' Dagonet asked in awe.

'We are home Dag,' Evan said as she looked toward as village. 'We are in Sarmatia.'

Lancelot and Dagonet laughed and embraced happily as Tristan pulled Evan to him and kissed her. 'We can still do that?' he asked her.

'Oh yes,' she said seductively. 'That is….until we decide to go back to the land of the living.'

'As horses?' Tristan asked her.

'We can choose our paths,' she told him. 'Whether we are re born are horses or humans I don't care just as long as I'm with you.'

'Aye,' he said as he went to kiss her again.

Dagonet and Lancelot groaned. 'Right now?' Lancelot asked them. 'Must you do that _right now_?'

'Yes,' Tristan said breaking from the kiss for a split second.

'Were going for a walk,' Dagonet said calmly.

'So vixen….lets see when you've got,' Tristan said before he deepened their kiss.

**The End. **


End file.
